Dancing with Attraction X - Reflections

The romantic part of me would like to tell you that this magical dance was the beginning of a long and luscious romance, but that never happened. Though we danced again, we never came close to the original intensity. Getting to know her dwindled to nothing, yet the memory of that experience is readily available for further savoring. Every time I ran into her off the dance floor--once or twice a year--I smiled inwardly recalling that juicy memory, but I didn’t tell her my experience.
I told the story when it felt appropriate. Though some wanted to know who she was, I never revealed it because it didn’t seem to matter. The attraction was impersonal. The woman could have been just about any good dancer I became infatuated with. (Case in point: The last time I saw her, I told her my experience of our first dance together. Though obviously flattered, she just as obviously didn’t remember it.)
Was the experience merely a joyful blip on the screen of my life? No. Did the lack of any substantial relationship afterwards minimize what happened? No again. Yet, that experience sparked my budding interest in the deeper nature of attraction. What was I attracted to? What called me through those months?
As far as I could tell, I was challenged to embody the impulse beneath my attraction instead of throwing it away by demanding its immediate consummation, fleeing from its intensity, freezing in its grip, or pretending it didn’t exist. I was called to bypass my reactions. Once I let go of my agenda, I could trust my embodied impulses to engage the specific circumstances that surrounded me.
That turned out to be far easier to say than it was to accomplish.